New Year’s Eve. Reggie and I are spending the evening together at home. The light from our precious little Christmas tree illuminates our dining room.
That perfectly shaped tree was meant to be ours…and here’s the back story.
The first weekend in December, I was heading to Seattle for the launch of “Being Brave: #Celebrating1mWomen and Their Courage” when I stopped by Whole Foods for some provisions for the weekend (I always carry my own snacks!). The entrance leading to the escalator was full of Christmas trees in all shapes and sizes. I hesitated and considered buying ours, but since I didn’t have time to decorate, I decided to wait.
On Monday, after returning from a fabulous launch weekend with my Fave/Being Brave co-authors, I went to Gyrokinesis and excitedly trekked to Whole Foods to get our tree (and a few other things of course!). The entrance was bare. “Oh no!” My mind immediately jumped into action considering where I would go next for our tree. I was ready to settle into the Christmas Spirit. Then the thought arose, ”Go by the floral department.”
There, standing on the display, was one lone tree. I walked up to the lady arranging flowers, and asked, “Is this for sale?” She nodded. “It’s our last one.” It waited for me! I glowed, putting it into my cart and went about my shopping. Several folks commented as they passed by, “What a gorgeous tree!”
Every day since then, that little tree has graced our dining room table, illuminated by a strand of lights and a sprinkling of ornaments, reminding me of miracles – and there have been many.
Making Memories
The Christmas season has been rich with memory making. I spent four days in San Diego with my grandkiddos – Abigail, Naomi, and Bodhi – full of non-stop action, endless dishes, a few squabbles, laughter, memory making, and barely a moment to sit quiety with myself (although I somehow found time to meditate each day before they stirred).
My trek back to LA, carting the Peloton that my son and daughter-in-law gifted us (they bought another training bike), was seamless – even two days before Christmas. I arrived in mid-afternoon, just as planned. Then, after a good nap, I settled into our quieter holiday.
Time for Reflection
Reggie and I have enjoyed the delicious dinners he’s created, movies, Scrabble games, reading by the fireplace, golf for him, and walks and Sweat Cycle for me – and time for reflection.
Clarity Pays a Visit
The last week – peaceful – emulating the word I’m committing to for the new year. Peace. Peace in my body, mind, spirit, my relationships, my writing, and my business.
In reflecting upon the last year, while blessed in many ways, I’ve had one huge epiphany – clarity. For far too many days of 2024, I set aside meditation and exercise to keep up with my to-do list, ignoring my boundaries and working far too many hours in day.
After a friend shared his twice daily meditation practice, I heard myself commenting, “I don’t have time to meditate.” I cringed hearing my response and this feeling followed me into an early November visit to the kiddos after an evening of teaching. Abi asked if I had brought them anything. I usually bring a book or stickers, or something little for them. I sheepishly said I hadn’t because I had been “crazy busy.” My daughter-in-law chimed up from the other room, “KK, you always say that.” I cringed again.
Time for a Change
The next morning, I arose and something shifted. That was the day I began meditating at least twice a day and exercising as well. A transformation is underway. I’m experiencing more peace, even when standing in lines at the post office mailing gifts to my family in Japan, or driving the 5 for holiday visits with my family and firends in San Diego. I catch myself smiling for no apparent reason.
In Turaya meditation on New Year’s Eve morning with Laurie Syemour of the Baca Institute, the focus was on the second chances we would like to have. Immediately, my mind flooded with a number of experiences, one of which I’d give anything to do over. But I recognized that in each instance there was a theme – I was not honoring myself and in doing so, there was no peace.
Ending an Addiction to Busy-ness
So how do I experience a year of peace and honoring myself?
Releasing my addiction to busyness – out of fear, out of a feeling of inadequacy, out of proving my worth…all remnants from past experiences where I didn’t honor myself and felt I had to “earn” the right to be loved and even take up space.
My intention for 2025 is to honor myself, my gift of writing, and create space in my day to “be” – and see what life wishes for me…It will require vigilant awareness so I don’t slip back into the familiar excitment of being “on.” I’m embracing that challenge.
That little tree…will forever be a reminder of how good things await me….I don’t have to “drive” myself into the ground to “get” them. No more moving target. It’s time to slow down and receive the gifts that await me.
How about you? What’s your epiphany for 2024 and what is your intention for 2025?
